Interviews with Fire Nation Royalty
by Bamulita
Summary: Ever wondered the inner most thoughts of great rulers like Ozai, Zuko, Azula, Ursa, Iroh, and others? Find out what they think, ranging from ships to life history to beating the crap out of the other nations! Chapter Two is finally up!
1. Azula

Interviews with Fire Nation Royalty

**A/N: My second Avatar fanfic. Yeah. I had fun righting the first one, Azula. Please review! Everytime you don't review, angry cats attack Momo. Yeah.**

**Disclaimer: I like Avatar:TLA. Lucky for you I don't own it, it would all be one big crackfic!**

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Welcome to the newest show on television! We have one of the cast members of Avatar: The Last Airbender here! Here name is Azula, and that's right! She is that evil, nasty, and kill-happy princess we all know and love! We will be asking her general questions, like love, her life, and all that other good stuff! Here she is...AZULA!" The host, Roku, boomed, pointing to Azula walking on to the stage.

"Hello, my loyal servants and fans!" Azula took a seat in the chair to the left of Roku.

"Welcome to the show Azula, and may I say, you look fabulous!" Roku was beaming.

"Don't I always? Now, get on with the questions before I light something on fire."

"Oh, yes. Okay, first question... What is your favorite nation?"

"What? Ummm, let me think, earth!" Azula was clearly upset by the level of stupidity of this question, "maybe Water. No, of course, I just **LOVE** the Air Nomads! The obvious answer is, my home nation that I will soon rule, the Fire Nation. By the way, all of you Fire Nation folk out there will be glad when I take over. I have some new rules already..."

"Okay, yes. Moving on." Roku interjected.

"Good."

"Okay, when you, if ever, catch the Avatar, what will you do to him?"

"Well, I have been thinking. I will get there before my brother, of course, and when I do, I will hold the avatar captive. I will then give him to my father so he loves me **even more**!!" Azula looked into the audience and started daydreaming.

"Okay then. Now it is the time of the show were we talk about ships! You must have an answer to every question! Got it?"

Azula nodded.

"Okay, Aang and Teo."

"What? The avatar and that kid with the sticky-out ears? One word: perfect for each other!"

"That was thr- nevermind. Next question, you and Iroh!"

Flames started coming out of Azula's hands. Her face turned red with anger.

"What? Hello, that is gross and illegal! What would make you think that me and that tea-loving wuss would...eww!" Azula screamed.

She then lit Roku on fire.

"Okay, next show, with Fire Lord Ozai! We will also have a new host, so uh, tune in!" The camera man said.

"Bye! I am the most powerful, beautiful, wonderful..." Azula said as the ending credits started an the screen turned black.


	2. Iroh

"Hello, and welcome to, Interviews with Fire Nation Royalty!" the new host yelled into the microphone.

Iroh is sinking back in a chair, looking relaxed.

"We have good news and bad news today. The bad news is Fire Lord Ozai is busy destroying helpless villages and the people in them, so sadly he can't make it today."

The camera pans back to Iroh, who is nearly asleep.

"The good news is that we have his brother, Iroh, here to fill in. Even though Iroh was banished long ago, we still will include him. Now on with the interview!"

The host walks over and takes a seat next to Iroh. Iroh awakes with a start.

"I promise, I didn't steal your saber-toothed mooselion!" Iroh screams.

"Don't worry, you were dreaming. We are going to start the interview now."

"Then will you give me that green tea I requested?"

"Yes"

Iroh rubbed his hands together, "Okay, bring on the questions!"

"First one, how old are you?"

"Umm, twenty-five!"

A stagehand holds up a card that says "Laughter" on it, and the crowd bursts out in a chuckle.

"Okay, Iroh, we are serious this time. How old are you?"

"Well, my lawyer said that I have the right to remain silent."

"Okay, then. I guess we will move on to the next question," the host said, flipping over the cards he had in his hand, "Iroh, do you wish that Zuko had not went over to Azula's side in the season finale, which, I must say, was awesome! The episode, I mean, not Zuko." The host said, quickly changing his words after he saw the look on Iroh's face.

"Of course, he is my nephew and I loved him like a son, after I lost my only child."

The crowd makes "awww" sounds, and an old woman starts to sob.

"But, Zuko has to make his own future and suffer the results of his actions. But, I wish that he wouldn't have." Iroh looked at the floor.

"Okay, moving on to a lighter subject. I don't want my tears to stain my good tie." the host says, using his tie as a handkerchief, even blowing his nose on it.

Iroh looks back up, excited. "Are we going to do odd pairings like on the other episode?"

"You are right, my good man."

"You think I'm a man? That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!" Iroh says, standing up and hugging the host.

"I think I will ignore that random, out of character outburst. Here is the first pair, you and Toph."

"Oh, that sweet little blind earthbender. I have a secret crush on her! Wait, are you going to air this?"

"Yes, and, umm, here is the next pair, the famous Zutara!"

"Well, I approve, but I don't know if Zuko would. He is picky with who he dates."

"And the next pairing, also the last question of the day, Jet and Haru!"

"Ahh, yes. I always thought that one would go well."

"Then, okay, that is all we need! Next time, Ozai should be back from his rampage, and we will interview him!" the host walks off, and Iroh starts to belly dance. The credits appear, then the screen goes black.

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**A/N: Sorry it took me sooo long to update. My computer was being difficult and thought it felt the need to freeze on me every time I opened up Word. Oh yes, I almost forgot. At the end of every "episode", the host will tell who is going to be interviewed next. If you want to leave a question on your review, that person will answer it! Well, bye!**


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